Faking Happy; Toxic Positivity

noxious PERSONALITIES AND ATTITUDES THAT ARE SELF-HARMING

The Toxic World of Self-Help: Hustle Culture, Toxic–

Definition of noxious

1a: physically harmful or destructive to living beingsnoxious wastenoxious fumesb: constituting a harmful influence on mind or behaviorespecially: morally corruptingnoxious doctrines2: DISAGREEABLE, OBNOXIOUSthis noxious political scandal— H. L. Ickes

Noxious positivity assumes that one should protect a definite mindset no matter how terrible or challenging a circumstance is. It’s a “genuine vibes” show to grow. Furthermore, while there are gains to living an academic and interlocking positive and concrete and reasonable life, infectious positivity sooner recants complex emotions in favor of a happy, naturally lousy period.

It’s not brand-new that positive thought; excellent mental health, indeed binds hand and hand. The significant predicament breathes that growth isn’t forever definite. We all bargain with distressing sensations and experiences many times during our lifetime. 

While often bothersome and challenging to barter with, certain troubles mean acquiring proper treatment also well-being skills. To “not handle” your problems competently presents to others a “cluttered-minded person: a cynic.” 

The attitude stated earlier doesn’t only accentuate the importance of virtue; it also rejects all traces of individual perceptions that aren’t stringently fit or positive.

Classes of Noxious Positivity

Noxious positivity can convey itself in a deep assortment of models. Some cases yourself may have confronted in your private living:

• If something terrible befalls, such as losing your employment, personages inform you to “just stay positive” or “look on the sunny side.” While before-mentioned judgments usually mean to be compassionate, they can too exist as a method of shutting down anything you might need to say regarding everything you are feeling.
• After undergoing any disaster, people say that “everything happens for a purpose.” While people usually get such comments because people think they act supportive, it is likewise a method of evading someone else’s hurt. 
• If you show frustration or melancholy, someone says to you that “happiness is a choice.” This hints that if you feel cold emotions, then it’s your individual decision also your liability for not “wanting” to be content.

The before-mentioned accounts are frequently well-intentioned but dangerous. By their most salutary, so comments appear off being hackneyed truisms that allowed you off the hook, so you don’t have to allot with separate people’s emotions.

At their worst, these remarks end up disgracing and condemning somebody that is continually dealing with difficult circumstances.

Noxious positivity denies people this genuine aid that all require to cope with what they are fronting.

How? It’s Dangerous

Noxious positivity can hurt somebody that is going through challenging times. Rather than sharing actual individual sentiments and growing positive support, people see their emotions discarded, overlooked, or downright invalidated. 

• It’s dishonoring: While someone is hurting, people need to understand that their sensations are real, just that everybody can find comfort also love toward their companions and people. However, noxious positivity shows that the sentiments all are believing equal wrong. 
• It creates offense: It sends a note that if you aren’t obtaining a way to feel positive, even within the presentation of disaster, you are doing something incorrectly.
• It bypasses genuine individual sensation: Noxious positivity practices as an escape tool. While different personalities mesh in that sort of style, it empowers them to shun sensitive circumstances that might cause them to feel awkward. But sometimes, we utilize those same ideas individually, internalizing these toxic ideas. When we feel difficult emotions, we then discount, dismiss, and deny them.
• It hinders fullness: It enables us to withdraw from feeling anything that might signify depressing, yet it additionally disallows us this capability to withstand challenging feelings that can eventually begin to grow and more in-depth insight.

The “positive vibes only” mantra has become particularly grating to many in light of the COVID-19 global pandemic. During the pandemic, people have faced illness, lockdowns, shelter in place orders, business shutdowns, working from home, homeschooling challenges, job loss, and financial struggles.

People are faced with massive disruptions in their lives and pressure to stay productive and be positive during a traumatic and challenging time on many levels.

According to the 2020 Stress in America report by the American Psychological Association, 46% of American adults with kids under 18 report high-stress levels during the pandemic.1

It is possible to be optimistic in the face of difficult experiences and challenges. But people going through trauma don’t need to be told to stay positive or feel that they are being judged for not maintaining a sunny outlook.

Signs 

Toxic positivity can often be subtle, but learning to recognize the signs can help you better identify this behavior type. Some signs include:

• She was brushing off problems rather than facing them.
• She was feeling guilty about being sad, angry, or disappointed.
• You were hiding your true feelings behind feel-good quotes that seem more socially acceptable.
• Hiding or disguising how you feel.
• They are minimizing other people’s feelings because they make you uncomfortable.
• They are shaming other people when they don’t have a positive attitude.
• Trying to be stoic or “get over” painful emotions.

How to Avoid Toxic Positivity

If you’ve been affected by toxic positivity—or if you recognize this kind of behavior in yourself— there are things that you can do to develop a healthier, more supportive approach. Some ideas include:

• Manage your negative emotions, but don’t deny them. Negative emotions can cause stress when unchecked two, but they can also provide important information that can lead to beneficial life changes.
• Be realistic about what you should feel. When you face a stressful situation, it’s normal to feel stressed, worried, or even fearful. Don’t expect too much from yourself. Focus on self-care and taking steps that can help improve your situation.
• It’s okay to feel more than one thing. If you face a challenge, it’s possible to feel nervous about the future but hopeful that you will succeed. Your emotions are as complex as the situation itself. 
• Focus on listening to others and showing support. When someone expresses a problematic emotion, don’t shut them down with toxic platitudes. Instead, let them know that what they are feeling is regular and that you are there to listen. 
• Notice how you feel. Following “positive” social media accounts can sometimes serve as a source of inspiration but pay attention to how you feel after viewing and interacting with such content. If you are left with a sense of shame or guilt after seeing “uplifting” posts, it might be due to toxic positivity. In such cases, consider limiting your social media consumption.

Permit yourself to feel your feelings. Instead of trying to avoid difficult emotions, permit yourself to handle them. These feelings are real, valid, and meaningful. They can provide information and help you see things about a situation you need to change.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you should act on every emotion that you feel. Sometimes it is essential to sit with them and give yourself the time and space to process the situation before you take action. 

So when you are going through something hard, think about ways to give your emotions the voice in a productive way. Write in a journal. Talk to a friend. Research suggests that just putting what you are feeling into words can lower the intensity of those negative feelings.3

Toxic Statements

• Just stay positive!
• Good vibes only!
• It could be worse.
• Things happen for a reason.
• Failure isn’t an option.
• Happiness is a choice.

Non-Toxic Alternatives

• I’m listening.
• I’m here, no matter what.
• That must be hard.
• Sometimes bad things happen. How can I help?
• Failure is sometimes part of life.
• Your feelings are valid.

A Word From VerywellMINDS.COM

“Toxic positivity is often subtle, and we’ve all engaged in this thinking at one point or another. By learning to recognize it, however, you’ll be better able to rid yourself of this type of thinking and provide (and receive) more authentic support when you are going through something that isn’t easy.

Start noticing toxic statements, strive to let yourself and others feel your emotions, both the positive and the negative. “

REFERENCES

ARTICLE WAS REWRITTEN FROM: 

What Is Toxic Positivity?. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958

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