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For Gertrude; Our Last Day

For Gertrude; Our Last Day

My journey with Gertrude hasn’t been easy. It’s been one of the most difficult and biggest life changing experiences of my life.

When I picked her up from a transport rescue who had traveled to Texas, Louisiana, and Arkansas I had no idea what I was in for. Her need for a foster seemed so desperate. 

Gertrude tested positive for heartworm the day I got her. She immediately saw the doctor the following Wednesday (three days later ) where she was diagnosed as terminal. The worms had been inside her heart for too long, and killing them would kill her. Her heart and liver were enlarged and she was diagnosed grave or terminal. She had such a heavy worm burden they warned me she could drop dead at any second. 

The rescue made it my choice to either foster her until death (one to three weeks). Since she was in discomfort my other option was to euthanize her that week. I chose euthanasia.

They scheduled to euthanize Gertrude a few days later. In those few days, I realized so much from her. Just because she was dying doesn’t mean she is dead. 

I couldn’t put her down. I knew if I did it would be because I didn’t want an old, scared, dying, and untrained dog in my house. I’m a dog lover, it’s my civic duty to save all lives, even the terminally ill ones.

I decided I was going to cure Gertrude: if you think that’s how the story ends it doesn’t. it hasn’t ended yet: her appointment is tomorrow at 4:15 pm. I researched heartworm like a nerd in a library and tried many techniques. I reached out to everyone I could and every veterinarian I knew from work and all confirmed her grave diagnosis. 

When I finally accepted her fate, I decided; I wanted to keep her alive as long as I could. The problem is the terminal illness no matter how healthy she becomes is still terminal. Manifesting in her blood stream and heart the warm burden is too heavy and she is in extreme discomfort having her heart sacrificed to the worm burden. 

For weeks I have prepped her meals full of proteins and nutrients to put some weight on her and gave her cough tablets, supplements, and pumpkin seeds in hopes of “paralyze” any worms. For two, almost three weeks Gertrude did great. Her strength was up, she had slept off years of uncomfortable sleep, and she seemed less depressed. I sort of fell in love with her personality the more she showed me how much she wanted to be a dog. Her personality radiates strong even though she appears weak. She’s a survivor. First time playing with a ball Debating whether or not to trust the food I feed Her finding out there were so many toys she could eat Located the toy bin She’s in my spot 

She started moving from one side of the couch to where I sat. I couldn’t tell if she was trying to take over or if she was bored of her toy/blanket/fort 

Until she let me take a selfie. I realized she was shy, and she was just not sure she could trust meThat might’ve been one of the best days of both of our lives

I didn’t resent her for not trusting me. I don’t think I fully trusted her. I would sleep on the couch just to make sure she didn’t go to the bathroom (but she would inevitably do anyways when I was asleep) it wasn’t until my body gave up from exhaustion that I went to my room, a room she was not allowed in, and I slept and slept and slept some more. 

I realized all she wanted was to go into my room. It was something she’s never done and wasn’t allowed to do. I refused to let her come in and lay on my bed. I didn’t want potty accidents in that one area of my home. I would have continued to not let her have my boyfriend not caught this image of us while I was asleep. 

From That moment on we immediately trust each other. She never went potty in the forbidden room. To this moment she hasn’t. 

We still spend every second together. We don’t leave the bedroom and every hour is sleep hour. 

at this moment she can trust me I can trust her. 

Knowing when the right time to put her down and working in veterinarian feeling like I should know when the right time is one of the hardest emotional struggles I’ve ever faced. I woke up to her coughing and I laid there. At that moment I start crying as I realize there’s never a right time. There will never be a good time to put her down. S

o, the choice has been made because if I were her and I was suffering I would want her to put me down before I suffered anymore as long as I at least lived a happy life for a little bit.

I don’t want her to be in any more pain ever again. To die happy with me is what she would want, its what any dog would. Holding on to her past her expiration date only ruins any good that I had done. She’s had enough years of suffering. 

So here we spend our last night together and she rests peacefully. If people think that an old, used-up dog isn’t worth their time then they are missing out on a very eye-opening, emotional, and bittersweet event. Not one thing, no dog, no species, is worth nothing. We all deserve a good life. Even if it’s just for a little bit. 

I will forever hold this dog in my heart. She broke down a wall I had by showing me hers. Words can’t describe the immense sadness I feel. I hope everyone can learn from this experience. Life is short, trust is earned and it’s okay to talk about death. Death is a part of life. Old dogs know the best tricks and saying goodbye never feels good. It doesn’t feel good even though its right. Me being there for her during is as important as any other part of our adventure together. She can trust me until the very end. I’m going to miss my friend 

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I cover a wide range of subjects not limited to any specific field but engaged mostly with Veterinary medicine, animal behaviour, sociology and psychology. I research a lot of science and technology, and even the sociology of artificial intelligence. The thoughts and questions concerning anything that might cross one’s mind- toilet thought.View more posts

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How can you tell if a pet store gets their pets from a puppy mill?

How can you tell if a pet store gets their pets from a puppy mill?

How to Identify puppy farmla dog breeders and backyard breeders.


“Puppy mills
are commercial breeding facilities that mass-produce dogs (and cats in cat mills) for sale through pet stores or directly to consumers through classified ads or the Internet. Roughly 90 percent of puppies in pet stores come from puppy mills.” – PAWS – resources puppy mills

PAWS › resources › puppy-mills

As horrible as puppy mills are, the ASPCA estimates that there are still more than 10,000 of them in the United States alone. If you want to make sure that your next puppy isn’t coming from a puppy mill, keep an eye out for the following ten signs:

  1. The puppies come from out-of-state – particularly Midwestern states like Missouri and Illinois.
  2. The puppy’s parents are not kept in the same facility, and you cannot see them before buying.
  3. The breeder wants to meet somewhere else if you request a visit to their facility.
  4. The facility offers several different breeds – reputable breeders focus on one or two species.
  5. The breeder has multiple litters available at the same time.
  6. Neither the parents nor the puppies have been appropriately vaccinated.
  7. The breeder makes extreme promises about the puppy’s size, temperament, or other quality.
  8. The puppies may smell like a kennel, and they are likely to have low coat quality.
  9. The breeder doesn’t ask you to fill out any kind of contract or spay/neuter agreement.
  10. The puppy is under eight weeks of age or appears to be much younger than the breeder claims.

Unfortunately, if something on this list is right about the puppy you are thinking about buying, a puppy mill breeder is unlikely, to be honest about it. For example, a puppy mill breeder might offer you papers and a license for your puppy, but if you look more closely, you may be able to tell that it is fake. If at any point the breeder doesn’t appear to be forthcoming about information regarding the puppy, its parents, or the breeding facilities, it is a big red flag. Not only should you avoid buying from this breeder, but you should also report him to the ASPCA or the Humane Society.

Buying a puppy from a pet store is a significant risk for several reasons. For one thing, many of the puppies sold in pet stores come from puppy mills, and it is straightforward to fake the papers or registration that pet store owners use to convince you that it is not so. If you want a puppy, consider adopting from a shelter or go through a reputable breeder.

10 Signs Your Dog is From a Puppy Mill – PetGuide

VET ALERT; DOG FOOD ADVISORY

VET ALERT; DOG FOOD ADVISORY

Dogs Naturally Magazine, a Veterinary based magazine, inspired me to research this incredibly important, Interesting, and alarming article about dog nutrition.

https://youtu.be/_6EEGV8wssQ

Studies recently show canines eating brand new diets to pups eating brands with nutrition deficiencies (I.e., Pedigree, Beneful, Alpo), which contain large amounts of processed foods, found that dogs eating fresh foods statistically live on average two years and eight months longer than those with the low nutritional diets and/or “cheap” brands.

That’s an extra thirty-two months on your beloved fur baby’s life.

There are many explanations for canines prematurely aging. Contemporary research shows that telomeres – a compound structuring at the end of a chromosome “shortening” could be one connection between processed diets and a shortened life.

TELOMERES, VITALITY, LIFESPAN

The end of each chromosome is a stretch of DNA named telomeres in both canines and homo sapiens.

Telomeres 🧬 are essentially the tough rounded ends of shoelaces. Telomeres conceal the perimeters of your dog’s chromosomes and stop ✋ them from unfolding. 🚫

As canines age, their telomeres get shorter. Generally, old canines have immensely shortened telomeres. Every time a cell divides, the acting telomere for that chromosome gets shortened. Cells are continually dividing, such as surface cells like skin and cells within significant organs such as the liver.

Once the telomeres are wholly gone, its chromosome on the DNA unfolds 🧬 , and the cell will execute one of three plans:

  • Self-destruction (apoptosis)
  • Go Solo (evolve cancerously)
  • Retire (becomes senescent)

The body is continually residing with cancers and stands adequately equipped to handle them. If the immune system is working sufficiently, it can pick up and demolish any cancerous cells. Again, that’s if the immune system is not compromised.

It’s the senescent (or cessation of cell division) cells that do the most damage to the body. Senescent cells are the one guy who ruins the party as these cells come baring early-onset of age-related disease.

Senescent cells lay dormant, and at any given time in the body, they discharge poisonous chemicals. These chemicals begin to grip to encircling healthy cells, causing that cell to become senescent or cancerous.

You need to protect the telomeres.

HOW PROCESSED FOODS DESTROY TELOMERES

Researchers in Spain looked at telomeres size and diets in human participants. They lay the first stone that the more processed diets they ate, the faster they shortened telomeres.

Partakers that ate three or more servings of refined or processed foods everyday stood 82% more apt to bring into light shortened telomeres.

What is refined or processed food? Like yourselves, your canine companions rely solely on the diet you feed them and to enhance longevity, as well as address specific breed diets and needs it’s important to know how to read a dog food label and more important to understand it. Think of processed food as “fillers”. Bad brands of dog food will usually list a filler or a meat “meal or derivative” (essentially ANY part of the protein source, I mean any part) and include a lot of grains such as corn to keep your pet full for longer. Corn, isn’t easily digested whole for humans, and it’s no better for dogs. This does not mean you should feed your pets grain-free food. It means the grains if at all should be healthy, ground up if needed, and easily digested.

Recent articles in both frontline and DVM360 have linked grain-free diets to cardiomyopathy or heart disease/failure. Hills Food Manufacturer sent a disturbing informational article to all associate Veterinary hospitals in June of 2019 showing the research-based evidence and development of grain-free diets and heart failure or sudden death due to heart issues in over five hundred canines.

WHAT IS A PROCESSED FOODS PURPOSE?

A LOT of pet foods and food brands (raw foods included) encompass refined ingredients. The ingredients are exposed to high heat, processing machines, or prepared in a laboratory and approximately entirely nurtured by human reserves. It cuts expenses for the pet food corporation to put fillers and processed food in the nourishment as grain is an inexpensive crop and corn is the cheapest. Corn that is not ground up is not generally tolerated by humans nor pets- the food must contain appropriate grains such as “ground” corn.

The first ingredient listed should always be the protein source (meat). Don’t be fooled by the word meal derivative or meals; this meat is essentially the meat you don’t want your pet to have (I.e., Weird body parts or even meat from untrustworthy or none grass-fed animals from non-accredited farmers).

Dog food standards are not the same as human food standards. The only thing a dog food brand needs is a label listing the ingredients and for it to be visible on the bag. No further testing of the food to date is required by law. PET FOOD DOES NOT need to be FDA tested unless it’s a prescription diet. It does need to pass its own “FDA” mentioned below.

The Association of American Feed Control Officials (AAFCO) provides nutritional standards (called model bills and regulations) that pet food manufacturers must abide by if they want to advertise their food as “complete and balanced.” – dogsnaturallymagazine

While the pet food industry reduces their costs by supplementing essential nutrients with fillers, processed foods and protein meals and maybe save a few bucks on the packaging, this day in age the brands are all aware (if they weren’t before) and still sell garbage to gain more personal profit (though they swim in it as is), they add bills to your veterinary tab and take years off your pet’s life, practically load your dog up with fillers, meat and meal derivatives, and indigestiblele grains. We simply have no idea we are slowly killing our pets. Not to mention they STILL push grain-free when it causes heart failure.

Name brand pet food. Is it malicious? Not all, well some probably are, but there are many brands of food. It’s unlikely intentional all pet food corporations are trying to murder your pet since canine and feline nutrition is only recently becoming a significant component of raising healthy pets, and though many brands have been forced off shelves or forced to re-do their recipe; to this day, pedigree, also, and Beneful cut corners. Will display labels below

Pet foods don’t just contain animals with unbalanced fats … they contain grains and foods that also include unbalanced fats. This is mostly to keep costs down — and the folks at AAFCO seem to be fine with this”

What are the ingredients most likely to be processed? What do you need to pay extra attention to? Words.

  • Meals (like chicken meal or corn meal)
  • Flavors (even natural flavors)
  • Colorings
  • Vitamins – what vitamins and how much?
  • Minerals– what minerals and how much?

You probably already know to stay away from meals and flavors. But many “high end” brands and freeze-dried foods contain vitamins and minerals.

Vitamins sourced in pet food are made with petroleum or fat products and are highly processed in factories. Minerals are also being processed in high heat and can be toxi. Avoid “added vitamins and minerals” or “all-natural and fresh with added supplements”

Processed foods are deficient in antioxidants. A fixed stream of antioxidants is vital to ameliorate oxidative stress harm and telomere curtailing.

HOW TO PREVENT TELEMORES FROM SHORTENING

Simple! Food and lifestyle change. Small adjustments you can make that will help keep your dog’s telomeres long and inflammation down.

Here is a list of supplements proved safe to give to pets that are found OTC. These you can purchase yourself.

Omega-3 and Omega-6 Fats: Both omega-6 and omega-3 fats have the ability to control hormones — and the hormones they control have very different jobs. The omega-6 fatty acids produce hormones that increase inflammation, which is an important part of the immune response. They also help with blood clotting and cell growth. The hormones produced by omega-3 fatty acids also control the immune system and they work alongside the omega-6 fats in an antagonistic manner. So, balance between these fatty acids is an important part of a healthy immune system. Both fats are important and your dog needs both in his diet. But these fats must be reasonably balanced for a balanced immune system … and today’s modern diets make this balance difficult.

Https://www.dogsnaturallymagazine.com/ (text directly copied)

Sulforaphane: Broccoli and especially broccoli sprouts are rich in a polyphenol called sulforaphane. This is a powerful antioxidant and liver detoxifier … but make sure it’s not heated as heat destroys the enzyme that converts sulforaphane in the body.

Probiotics/Prebiotics: A prosperous stomach includes an abundance of bacteria that reduce inflammation. And as pups age, their microbiomes become less distinct, and this can cause inflammation and telomere shortening.

Those are just expansions to your pet’s diet. Additionally, for an upset stomach, you can serve none-dessert canned pumpkin or boiled chicken and white rice. “Bland” diets are preferred when a dog is experiencing digestive tract issues. What your dog food should contain are the three driving energy sources.

Your dog needs three sources to operate: protein, fats, and carbohydrates. These macronutrients are the only source of calories your dog gets.

Proteins are made up of building blocks called amino acids. Amino acids are important not just for energy but for vitality and tissue assembly in the bodies cell production. They also fire up the metabolic process. (hence energy drinks are loaded with amino acids and bcaa)

Fat is a rich source of energy. Pound per pound fat is two times more highly caloric than the protein source. You need to watch the amount of fat per protein ratio when feeding. Fat is essential in protecting your dog’s cells and aids in making hormones as well as fattysoluble vitamins. Without a steady supply of protein and fat, your dog will die.

Carbohydrates are not essential for life, and dogs can survive without them, but that does not mean they shouldn’t be removed from the recipe. Carbohydrates help boost the dog’s immune systems and help reduce the risk of cancer and other diseases.

That being said the following sites are great for pet nutrition recalls, questions, and information.

https://www.dogfoodadvisor.com/best-dog-foods/best-dry-dog-foods/

Dog food advisor Constantly updates with researched and laboratory-based evidence for every type of pet food imaginable
Different breeds means different nutrition needs!

Example: GOOD DOG FOOD

Taste of the Wild Southwest Canyon Grain-Free Dry Dog Food, 28-lb bag

Nutritional Information

  • Beef, Peas, Garbanzo Beans, Lamb Meal, Canola Oil, Egg Product, Wild Boar, Ocean Fish Meal, Pea Flour, Dried Yeast, Tomato Pomace, Flaxseed, Natural Flavor, Salmon Oil (A Source Of DHA), Salt, Choline Chloride, Taurine, Dried Chicory Root, Tomatoes, Blueberries, Raspberries, Yucca Schidigera Extract, Dried Lactobacillus Plantarum Fermentation Product, Dried Bacillus Subtilis Fermentation Product, Dried Lactobacillus Acidophilus Fermentation Product, Dried Enterococcus Faecium Fermentation Product, Dried Bi Fidobacterium Animalis Fermentation Product, Vitamin E Supplement, Iron Proteinate, Zinc Proteinate, Copper Proteinate, Ferrous Sulfate, Zinc Sulfate, Copper Sulfate, Potassium Iodide, Thiamine Mononitrate (Vitamin B1), Manganese Proteinate, Manganous Oxide, Ascorbic Acid, Vitamin A Supplement, Biotin, Niacin, Calcium Pantothenate, Manganese Sulfate, Sodium Selenite, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride (Vitamin B6), Vitamin B12 Supplement, Riboflavin (Vitamin B2), Vitamin D Supplement, Folic Acid. Contains A Source Of Live (Viable), Naturally Occurring Microorganisms.

Caloric Content

  • 3,600 kcal/kg, 360 kcal/cup

EXAMPLE: Bad Dog Food- look at the first few ingredients.

PEDIGREE ADULT COMPLETE NUTRITION GRILLED STEAK VEGETABLE FLAVOR DRY DOG FOOD

Ingredients : THE BOLD ARE VERY BAD.

GROUND WHOLE GRAIN CORN, MEAT AND BONE MEAL (SOURCE OF CALCIUM), CORN GLUTEN MEAL, ANIMAL FAT (SOURCE OF OMEGA 6 FATTY ACIDS [PRESERVED WITH BHA & CITRIC ACID]), SOYBEAN MEAL, NATURAL FLAVOR, CHICKEN BY-PRODUCT MEAL, DRIED PLAIN BEET PULP, SALT, POTASSIUM CHLORIDE, BREWERS RICE, GROUND WHOLE GRAIN WHEAT, CHOLINE CHLORIDE, DRIED PEAS, DL-METHIONINE, NATURAL GRILLED STEAK FLAVOR, ZINC SULFATE, CALCIUM CARBONATE, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE, VITAMIN E SUPPLEMENT, L-TRYPTOPHAN, RED 40, YELLOW 6, DRIED CARROTS, BLUE 2, YELLOW 5, COPPER SULFATE, D-CALCIUM PANTOTHENATE [SOURCE OF VITAMIN B5], SODIUM SELENITE, NIACIN [VITAMIN B3], POTASSIUM IODIDE, RIBOFLAVIN SUPPLEMENT [VITAMIN B2], VITAMIN A SUPPLEMENT, VITAMIN B12 SUPPLEMENT, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE [VITAMIN B6], THIAMINE MONONITRATE [VITAMIN B1], VITAMIN D3 SUPPLEMENT, FOLIC ACID.

Directions :

Throw dog food out.

https://www.dogsnaturallymagazine.com/raw-feeding-primer/

after watching this, your brain will not be the same.

after watching this, your brain will not be the same.

The talent you will see is unbelievable if you teach yourself to read and write more but also teach teach others.  We find out so much about the universe we never thought possible when we read about experiences and/or the universe itself.

I’ve been writing since I was a child. I remember writing a 6-page paper (lined paper) in third grade about ghosts and haunted houses and my friends and the scary lady. I’m not much of a grammar person; I seem to do well in photography and literature naturally.

Other subjects I learn and still have a hard time grasping.  I was in lower math in high school, but both my parents are accountants.  I can’t hear as well in my left ear, and it’s just now, I’m seeing the parallels between having surgery as a child and the formation of the left side of my brain.

When I was six months old, I had a rare ailment. It’s called ectopic neural tissue, and it’s an excess or part of brain tissue that grows somewhere other than your head. It’s a congenital disability that I was fortunate to get fixed.  My parents noticed a small lump that was appearing on my neck’s left side was not getting smaller but growing.  It was proliferating, and causing me to lose weight, and I struggled to breathe.  Eventually, sooner rather than later, the growing ectopic neural tissue would completely cover my throat, and I would have suffocated to death. 

The lump was growing, daily, weekly, and monthly and eventually, I couldn’t breathe.  My parents had taken me to  many doctors, and none could help until the day I should have suffocated- I was saved by a scientific man with a creative mind.  I was saved by a genius brain because this particular doctor used skills I don’t see in Veterinary Medicine often, creativity, and common sense  to come up with the idea to invent a tool small enough to fit in my neck.  He envisioned this tool in his mind, thus, making it real.

 If you can dream it, you can believe it.

At six months, the lump had become and emergency as it grew too  close to everything on my heads left hemisphere near my eyes, ears, and nose, without the doctor who invented this microscopic sized surgical instrument, I would have slowly died infront of my family by suffocation.  This is because in 1990 there were no instruments small enough to save me.  Inventing a tiny tool that was small enough to extract the tissue in surgery from my tiny neck was him “just doing” he didn’t think, he didn’t wonder, he just tried to find the answer to a question, while the other doctors didn’t bother to try and fix anything.  The problem in society is once we get a degree we become all-assuming.  Doctors tend to think they know all there is to know since they graduated.  Science is endlessly learning.  There is no way to know everything, and humans barely know enough about science as it stands alone.  Learning is life long and this particular doctor use creativity and quick thinking.   He is the  why I’m here today.  This story is why you should consider reading.    

Other doctors had said nothing was wrong or they don’t know the diagnosis. This doctor created the diagnosis and the cure. Just because the doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me didn’t mean nothing was wrong. It’s the inability to be vulnerable and the craving to follow, not lead, and caring too much what people think of you and your reputation that blind you from actually thinking about the fact that peoples lives are in your hands.  I see it everywhere, in every human being, but not learning?  Well that’s just stupid.  No pun intended.  To read is to learn to learn is to write to write is to share to share is to save the world. The doctor who created the tool on my neck is a genius. He may have been the worst student, the crazy kid, perhaps suffers from drug and alcohol problems, who knows. A genius is simply someone that invents a mad idea. They try and try and try until something works.  A genius researches and asks why to absolutely everything.  They’re curious by nature, and find solutions to worldwide problems because they cant rest until something fits in their heads and they figure incredible things out. They love one thing for sure. Asking the question, how come? To everything and everyone. It understands the combination of the present and the things you’ve learned in the past that allow you to create or envision something.

I don’t know what it’s like not to be able to write or dream, but I do know what it’s like not to be able to count ounderstand numbers.  I think having Alexa, or Siri, or any assistant is very helpful.  You have google at the tip of your fingers.   Nothing should be an argument.

I know genius,’ “potentials” but they aren’t truly genius’ because they aren’t industrious. You have to have a mad imagination to figure out something like the idea of gravity. Good job, Newton.

You are not going to be good at every skill you try, and that is  okay! Does it suck that I can’t sing? Really, not at all. Now I know, and I do it for fun anyway. There’s a difference between trying to achieve the impossible and daydreaming. I know me, I know my capabilities, I can’t be everything I want to be. Sadly, I am very good at a few things, and I spread myself thin and spattered all over the place, and I feel this sort of every day is a different project day.

My WordPress blog doesn’t have a niche. My writing is multi versed. It’s impossible to choose just one thing for me to discuss. Trying to cover the topics I care about and I know about.  Being a scientist, and a creative writer?  Well, I just pictured myself doing it.  So it’s going to happen.

I’m a non actively working Veterinary Nurse, cat and dog behavior expert, Veterinary Medicine educated, Photographer, Writer, Reader, and Graphic Designer.

I run 17 different Facebook pages. Seventeen. One has over 1k, and the others are touch and go. I have too much to do, and this is anxiety at it’s finest.  I don’t even remember making a lot of them, that’s how many ideas flow through my brain.

What I’ve noticed is that everyone being home (pandemic couch lock) is the opposite of me, and I’m unemployed. They do their work either in the office or at home then watch depressing shit until it’s time for bed.

STOP FEEDING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND GARBAGE. 

Again, it can read, it can write, and it can listen.  You have to treat your brain with care, and I promise investigative discoveries murder shows bring absolutely no value to your life. 

Stop living to survive and live because you’re here! That’s scarce chances that you, specifically DNA wise, exist here on planet earth.

What if you are not miserable?  I mean you feel miserable, maybe, but that’s this moment.  What if you could just do what you wanted?

One year ago, today, I went through a tragedy where I had to surrender one of my dogs. Anyone that knows me knows that that could damn near kill me. It does still. It was also something that got me to quit drinking, go to therapy (online therapy bots), and live for the sake of living, not just for surviving. Like everything I’ve ever owned, I lost all my belongings, but nothing could hurt me more than losing my puppy. I raised my dog as a puppy, and the thought of her in a shelter destroyed me. Though the circumstances were unchangeable even to a Veterinary Professionals degree, it’s a wake-up call to some other actions that lead to the event of losing my pet. I had to think about what I was doing in my life that made my life horrible. I sat down with a notebook and wrote about my past couple of years. Reading back to myself, it seemed like I wasn’t reading my own words. I reread it the next day, and it was also like someone telling my story- I even used a word I don’t understand but in the correct way. Then it dawned on me. My subconscious mind can only read and write and listen.

What messages did I need to tell myself?  What messages HAVE I been missing?

 This past year, quitting alcohol and avoiding patterns has been the most significant year of my life. I don’t take any day for granted anymore. I stay ahead of the trends. Talk to me in person, I can’t explain how to use a mousepad, but my subconscious mind could write you a technical essay. It’s time to put your conscious mind to sleep for a bit. Ever get gut feelings or intuitions? That’s your subconscious. If your conscious mind is blocking you, then you need to trick yourself into learning something. It would be best if you were a teacher and a student. Anything can be fun. Have you ever cleaned and blasted feel-good pop music? Youl be dancing all over the place.  

We do not have enough writers in the world. Truly. We are missing things in society, especially in technological advances and IBM, because we’re all distracted by the ad our phones gave us. Is your life shitty? Then fix it. That’s my only answer, and it’s probably right. Look outside of the news.  Actually, fuck the news.  Don’t even watch that garbage.  Do something mentally feel good.  Watch Rick and Morty.

I can’t expect everyone to be as refreshing as me as again, I am an animated human being, I’ve always had too much energy, but I find people and strangers so interesting. It does confuse me why we naturally seem not to listen or do anything we know we should. How we don’t trust our neighbors, but we trust big corporations.  I love my iphone but I know that Steve Jobs wasn’t a good guy.  He was just a genius’.

If you read a little each day, you will, by pattern, learn it as a habit after 23 days and by 90 days have it engraved into you. Read ONE page of a book every day. Just one. 23 days straight. Then if you hate it, give up. I think youll love eventually reading  books. Reading is how we learn, and learning is fun when you’re a big kid like me. I’m bored of Donald Trump and all that junk- Dear ABC7 LAMEO’S tell me more about the artificial intelligent machine that is expected to understand the language of Dolphins and their secrets.  Now that, is some cool ass news.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew.   Like my dad always said: “Inch by inch life is a cinch, yard by yard life is hard.” No one wants to read. Reading was a taught skill, and books are personal because you need to read ones that cater to you, that fit your timeline of life. Being forced to read has created a society of anti-readers, which breeds nothing. We need more writers, and EVERYONE can write.

No one wants to do things unless they want to do it for  themselves.  Learning, do you want to learn?  If you tell me to do something, it’s a chore; if you dust and make it look neat, I’m going to want to try it. It would help if you liked the things you desire. Because if you don even take steps to get there, it won’t happen.

There is never going to be a time where everything you dream comes true because you sat around and didn’t even bother to do anything about your circulating thoughts. You have to just literally start. 5,4,3,2,1…

Whether you want my suggestions, or the random fortune cookie- pick a random prompt in a word of wisdom book, do not change it, it has to be written without you knowing how to write it.  I want you to meet your subconscious mind.  You wont meet your subconscious mind until you let it speak for itself.  What are you doing the next 12 minutes?

I started the 12-minute creative writing prompt with my boyfriend. He’s an excellent writer; from listening to him, I could tell. He never could jumpstart until he did. We were doing activities (love coloring), and I told him to write about a creative topic for ten minutes, and he could stop. He wrote for 12 minutes, and 12 more.

I’m proud to help anyone who needs a prompt and a coach as I’ll be adding the stories to my page if whoever is writing consents in honor of learning to write by just starting. I just demonstrated how to do it. I may even publish this without rereading or running it through Grammarly. [update 9:15 pm ran through Grammarly. Over 103 suggestions! Lucky I’m a writer, not a proofreader.]

 Make your next moment a different moment, because all we are is this moment

Comment, and I will give you a prompt; we can do this.

and here I present, the first, of what I hope is many, 12 minute creative challenge submission.

Title: Be prepared to lose once in a while

Written by anonymously submitting

December 18th, 2020

Shit, I’ve been losing for a long time. It’s almost as if the day I officially graduated college; I gave up. I didn’t care about finding a new job or moving out of my parent’s house. I would give up on every idea I had.

It didn’t help that I wasn’t getting laid ever.

Then again, I barely tried.

I’ve lost at most things in life. Positions, sports, competitions, school, friendships, deals, relationships…holy shit, it’s four in the morning.

For the first time in a while, I’m not losing. I wish I could be more creative with this.